Nighttime Sharpens a Fork Stuck in the Road
by Mary-Noel
Summary: What happens when you mix cold meds, Green Day, The Phantom of the Opera in all its glory, a time machine, morphine, and three insane Phangirls? You get the Parody from Hell! Definitely has to be rated M/modern-ish/interesting pairings...R&R!


**Author's Note: Sadly, I own nothing. Not POTO, the Green Day members, not even my friends. -sigh- I did, however, come up with the plot, so I guess that's something.**

**The story behind this is that one day in late 2005 I was home sick, all drugged up on cold meds, it's freezing outside, and there's virtually nothing to do. So what does a certain dirty/insane-minded 13-year-old do? I write this, of course. It's been edited a few times since then, and my now 16-year-old mind has tainted it that much more, with the help of my friends in this story. so this should be...interesting.**

**I hope no one takes offense to any of this. I adore POTO, Green Day, and everyone and everything that has been and will be mentioned in this parody; this is all in good fun. :-)**

**Enjoy!**

**Dedicated to Leanne, Chelsea (sorry I spelled your name wrong), Harry, and to POTO and Green Day: thanks for existing!**

Chapter 1

We start off in present-day Oakland, or Berkley, or where ever the hell Green Day is.

Billie: Holy shit I'm bored!  
Tre': Wanna take a shower?  
Billie: We already took one damn it! Besides, we're out of flavored soap.  
Tre': .  
Billie: .  
Tre': .  
Billie: .  
Tre': So I guess the ship has sailed on the whole shower thing?

Mike: -comes in unexpectedly- Guess what I did!  
Billie: I'd really rather not.  
Mike: Too bad, cause I'm gonna tell you. I built a time machine!  
Tre': Why?  
Mike: Cause I got bored watching you two sit on your lazy asses talking about flavored soap! Seriously, how many showers can you take together in one day? Billie: Whatever. What in the hell are you gonna do with a time machine?  
Mike: Duh. I'm gonna go back in time genius. Tre': Where in time?  
Mike: Back to 1870 Paris. I keep getting these weird phone calls from this girl named Leanne and her friend Krystine, and they keep telling me about this Phantom of the Opera thing, so I wanna find out for myself...and they said they'd hunt me down and there'd be hell to pay if I didn't...

So to make an already long story short, Billie, Mike, and Tre' hop in their blood red convertible which is now the time machine, and drive to an extremely small town that no one has ever heard of, and knock on a few doors till they find where Leanne and Krystine live.

Leanne: -answers door- ... -sees Green Day- HOLY SHIT!! DADDY! GREEN DAY IS AT OUR HOUSE!  
Leanne's dad: That's nice hun.  
Leanne: -rolls eyes- What ever dad...OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! KRYSTINE! GET OUT HERE NOW!  
Krystine: What the hell do you want now? I'm not falling for that "Gerry's at the door" trick again- -sees Green Day- HOLY SHIT! Leanne: So I see you got our phone messages.  
Krystine: -cough-threatscough-  
Leanne: ...Right.  
Billie: Uh, yeah, we did, and we'd like to say the we've-  
Mike: I'VE Billie: HE'S built a time machine and we're gonna go back to 1870 Paris.  
Krystine and Leanne: -blank stares-  
Tre': -shrugs- Well, if you don't wanna go-  
Leanne: HELL YEAH WE WANNA GO! But before we leave, we have to pick up our friend Chealsea.  
Mike: My time machine only fits 4 people!  
Leanne: -fluttering eyelashes at Billie- Then I'll just have to sit on someone's lap. Billie: Shit.

So Billie, Mike, Tre', Leanne, and Krystine go to Chealsea's to pick her up, when her dad (a cop) answers the door.

Officer Chealsea's Dad: -answers door- Yeah? HOLY HELL! CHEALSEA, GREEN DAY'S AT OUR DOOR!  
Chealsea: Yeah right, I'm not falling for that-HOLY SHIT!  
Tre: Hello. -flutters his somewhat bisexual eyelashes at Chealsea's dad-  
Officer Chealsea's Dad: ...ok then?  
Chealsea: Why is Green Day at my house in the ghetto with my friends?  
Leanne: Well, that's an interesting story. -goes into whole big explanation about the threatening phone calls, the time machine, and puts extra emphasis on getting to sit on Billie's lap-  
Chealsea: Daddy, can I go back in time with this awesome punk rock band and my drop out and ADD friend?  
Officer Chealsea's Dad: Sure. Be back by 11.

So every one gets in the time machine, Leanne sitting on Billie's lap, Chealsea on Tre's lap, and Mike and Krystine trying to avoid each other. Yeah, not for long.

Krystine: -says bitterly to Mike- I love Gerard Butler.  
Tre': -perks up- SO DO I!  
Everyone: ...Eww.

Meanwhile, back in 1870 Paris, Erik is taking his beloved morphine injection, when a knock (more like a pound) comes to the underground entrance of his lair.

Erik: What the hell...? -hesitantly answers door, only to be stampeded on by Green Day and 3 insane phan girls-  
Krystine: -drooling- It's Erik!  
Chealsea: Damn he's ugly.  
Leanne: I love you Billie.  
Tre': You got any showers around here?  
Everyone: .  
Erik: Right then...who are you people, and why are you men wearing eyeliner?  
Billie: It's called Punk Rock.  
Erik: Which is?  
Billie: Never mind...

So what's gonna happen next?  
Is Erik high?  
Will being in 1870 work out for the Punkers and the Phangirls? Will Chealsea make it home by 11?  
And will Billie be able to explain Punk to Erik?  
Yeah, just keep reading!!


End file.
